You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize