I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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