I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
