You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
