It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
