I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
