I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
