So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
