The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
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Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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