I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
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We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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