Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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