Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
