the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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