I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
