The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
