I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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