Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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