Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think a kid would responsible me up
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
