he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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