i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
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They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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