yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
