Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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