It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
