So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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