so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
