ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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