he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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