so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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