How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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