Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
