your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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