Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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