How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
