You just made me feel so damn special
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize