I want you more than these girls want KFC
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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