he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
