Little spoons don't ask big questions
i came on her dog
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize