I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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