we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Come on in and take your pants off
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
