just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
