North Korea, Best Korea!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
