WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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