my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
