that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize