I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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