shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
