In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My vagina is officially offended.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
