Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think i have two assholes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
