it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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