the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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