I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
