My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
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