plz talk dirty to me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
