if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
