escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
