All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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