Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
