Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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