You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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