We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
