Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
