I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
