I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
